The Finale

So this is probably my last post on this blog. I leave very soon...Wow.

Over the last few days I've been enjoying the weather outside with friends. We've gone canoeing and got completely soaked, went to a traditional town party that happens every year, had a summer kickoff party with the neighborhood and grilled for the holiday yesterday. Today I need to finish packing and in the next couple of days I say goodbye to people and head on my way back.

My year went on for what seemed forever but at the same time it went by so quickly. The last few days have been a blur and the end is coming up fast. Everyone has asked me if I'm happy to go home. My answer is "Jain" which means yes and no. Of course I'll be happy to be in my own room, see friends and be with my family and our new dog...but I also have a life here. I have friends that I'll miss dearly and it will be tough readjusting to not seeing them every day. So yes and no, I'm happy but sad but relieved but scared. Everything has is pros and cons and even though this year has been difficult, I wouldn't exchange the experience for anything.

My parents visited. We went to Greece and it was amazing.
I went to Berlin.
I graduated from the program.
I'm going canoeing tomorrow...
I'm packing.
I leave next week.

I realized I hadn't written in a long time...

I've been busy with videos, with the end of 12th grade, with a spring break trip to Holland, with college stuff, etc.

Chaoswoche marked the end of 12th grade (and beginning of another month or so of 11th grade). Every day we dressed up to a theme, like Spirit Week and a lot of the kids partied every night. I spent the time filming all of the days and editing. Here's the video. On the last day we put together a huge show for the community, where we displayed the other videos and had the teachers (dressed up like animals) play games, as if they were on some crazy game show. We also got t-shirts with the logo "Hakuna Matabi."

Last week I went to Holland and spent the week with a friend from my childhood, who studies in Maastricht. The city is beautiful and there's so much to see. I loved every minute and hope to visit sometime. We wandered, window shopped, went to cafés, experienced some night life, hung out with friends, hiked up the "mountain" and looked at the city from up-top, and went to a small '90s theme party. Overall it was just really fun and I was sad to have to leave.

My parents come on Saturday to visit, and I'm excited to go to Greece, even though some things didn't work out totally as planned. I'm happy to get to see them again though.

College things are being worked out. Things are definitely not going to my liking so we'll have to see what happens.

It's funny how tiny mix-ups (same name) can turn into a huge deal when people talk behind your back. Thank goodness that's cleared up. Now I'm just ready to get out of this suffocatingly small town where everyone seems to know everything except the person they're talking about...if I can figure out where that host family travel consent form....and looks like I've found it.

Now I can take a breather for a little bit...well until Thursday or Doomsday as I call it (when almost all colleges are posting decisions).

Knights in shining armor and millions of dollars?

Recap:

On Saturday Adriana, Erika and I met the Bundestag representative for our region. He organized a castle tour of the Wasserburg Anholt and coffee-time afterwards. The castle is still lived in by the count and his wife, which I thought was pretty interesting. It's a beautiful, old building (first built in the 12th century) surrounded by a moat and gardens. They have a huge library full of ancient books and even a gallery filled with paintings by famous artists, most of them Dutch or Flemmish, including a Rembrandt and some that date back to the 1200s worth who knows how many millions of dollars. Then coffee was pleasant in the restaurant there...we were asked a lot of questions, which were all written down by the representative's secretary. After that we took some pictures and said goodbye.

Then I got ready and went out with some people. It was fun.

Sunday I ended up watching The Wolf of Wall Street....of course Leo DiCaprio's performance was spectacular and I don't understand at all why he didn't win an Oscar (again)...however I did not expect it to be so...umm...rated R (that was my only complaint).

Yesterday I had a normal day of school and today, well, I stayed home sick. Great. Hopefully it will be over soon.

TTYL,
Emily

Today while working out, I sat down to read a Pinterest workout guide while doing some weights...I then managed to drop one weight on the top metatarsal of my middle finger, and the nail bed started bleeding.

I figured I'd share.

Whaddup.

So my life has been normal. I'm waiting for college stuff to come out...going to school...have been enjoying the beautiful  weather the last few days (although it's supposed to get cold again tomorrow -_-)...yeah.

I've also been keeping up with my daily workouts (usually 1-2 hours depending on when I start and how much time I have). My go-to videos for new stuff are Fitness Blender and Blogilates with Cassey Ho...I mix that with my gymnastics conditioning, the stationary bike, and random workout routines I find on Pinterest.
I try very hard to drink a full 1.5 L of water per day, although sometimes I end up drinking the majority of the bottle before going to bed because I'm determined to finish it and I forgot throughout the day...whoops.
I have been eating clean and training mean, and I feel pretty darn good. :D

I've also hung out with friends and all that, so that's good.

On Tuesday I gave a report about the US perspectives on the Ukrainian crisis for my Sozialwissenschaften class (like Civics and Economics on a more currant affair-level) and what Obama/White House are doing about it, other politicians' responses, and the general public's views on it.
In biology today we started on genes and how the earliest genes connect every living creature and stuff like that. Personally, genetics is my favorite subject when it comes to science...so I'm happy about the topic :)
In math we are doing matrices...apparently they don't even learn matrices until 12th grade, while I was doing them in 8th (I believe)...it just goes to show how different the curriculums are, but neither is "easier" than the other (unless you've done a year of IB and then German 12th grade is a breeze)...anyway, matrices is also my favorite subject in math apart from statistics and I am very good at matrices so I'll be looking forward to easy math classes the next couple of weeks.

On another note, I finished Divergent and both sequels to the series....make sure not to read the end of the third book in public...just saying, it extracted quite a few tears from my eyes.

This evening (as in right before posting this) I made some yummy LC/GF protein bars and sprinkled a little coconut on top...next time I may add some more fruit or something for a twist but you guys should check out the recipe because they are GOOD. Sorry in advance for the poor quality from my webcam but I didn't feel like going all the way up to my room to get my camera.

OH YEAH. BE JEALOUS. *does a little dance that looks kind of like this* (Click it, you know you want to.)

That is all. Bye!

Emily

You are my sunshine

The past two days have been beautiful. Weather in the mid-high 60s, sunshine, clear sky, no rain....my host mom even got a sunburn yesterday.
I've spent every second I could outside, whether it be reading, video stuff, eating, or surfing the web. Today I rode to school with not even a jacket. Even as I'm writing this I'm sitting outside in a tank top. Early March, in in northern Germany, in a tank top. Like what. But I'm loving it.
Yesterday we grilled outside and when my host mom went to the supermarket on Saturday all the meats good for grilling were sold out (in three stores) so we made due with what we had in the freezer, which was still a whole lot.
In my history class I'll be giving a report on the NATO strategies from 1945 to 2014 with two other girls...my teacher wanted me to pick that one because I'm the "native speaker" but I wanted that topic anyway.
I'm almost done with the third book in the Divergent series, Allegiant. Though the third isn't as good as the other two (it's a bit slow), it's really important to the story and I still like it.

I'm gonna go enjoy my sunshine!
Emily

Advice: don't apply to colleges while on foreign exchange. It will give you mini panic and/or anxiety attacks (or the feeling that you're about to get one).

How am I supposed to send in a transcript and mid-year report with grades I don't have?! Because that's not possible. And I've done everything I can to let the schools know that I am not receiving grades (my counselor from the school here wrote that and had the teachers give a mini-recommendation) and yet one school says I'm missing grades that I never got. So what am I supposed to do? I can't do anything more than I already have and I'm freaking out because I don't want to not get accepted just because of going on this exchange year. That would really suck. It would make me feel like I made the wrong choice in coming here, and I don't want to feel that way.

Too Familiar

I've been feeling off today. A little homesick, one might say. You know, I never thought I'd say it but I miss the South. I miss the food and the sweet iced tea, the southern hospitality and the people we'd talk to at church on Sunday mornings. I even miss the (and I really never thought I'd say this) charming southern accent I've grown so used to hearing. When we first moved to North Carolina, the accent really bothered me but now I think of the sweet 'southern belle' old ladies with their accents asking how school is and repeatedly commenting about how grown up I've become and yada-yada-yada. There's a whole culture in the South apart from the country song, pickup truck, lax bro stereotype that I miss. There's an old charm to the South, something you can't find anywhere else. Sitting on the porch in the hot, sticky summer heat while the humidity makes it feel at least ten degrees hotter, just trying to catch a cool breeze; saying hello to everyone (and that's not an exaggeration) you see; true southern manners and etiquette; dresses and bowties at every event; and a lot more that defines the South in its traditions and yes, stereotypes.

While I love the life I have here in Germany and I'm glad I got to experience it as a young adult as opposed to growing up here as a young child, there are aspects that I have grown to love about the South that are missing in my life right now. I think I will always hold a special place in my heart for the country I spent my childhood in, but I also hold dear the life I lead in America. I used to think my "home" was Germany because I have lived over half of my life here, but I think this year has taught me that home is where the heart is and home is where the family is. I wouldn't dream of saying I don't want to be in Germany because I do, don't get me wrong. However, I think that it is a chapter in my life that will be closing in June. I think coming back here was important for me because when we left, I thought we would be coming back after a year and then we just didn't. I always had the question in the back of my mind "What if?" and I don't have that question anymore. I appreciate the past few months here and look forward to the next 3 (and I don't doubt they will go by incredibly fast) because I have learned more about myself than I ever would have, had I spent the year back home in Greensboro, but I do look forward to being with my family and my best friends again this summer.

Today I had no school because they were taking their Klausur tests and it took up the whole morning and I don't have afternoon classes on Thursday. I went on a walk to clear my head. Feeling the fresh air against my face was really nice. I ended up coming home with unsweetened banana chips (somehow it's always either that or nuts). Yup. That's pretty much it.

A little philosophy is good for the soul...

Keep reading until the end for my philosophical story.

I think spring is coming soon.
Birds are starting to sing again, we have had a couple sunny days, the wind is a little warmer...and forecasted temperatures are in the high 40s and low 50s (Fahrenheit, of course).

Yesterday in English we were looking at some of our classmates' analyses to "The Last Night of the World" by Ray Bradbury...we first corrected the grammar (although there were a few mistakes both in the originals and corrections from others, most of it was well written) and then talked about the content. My teacher's funny line: "Maybe I should have you (me) here when I correct the class tests. It's a lot faster than using the dictionary."

Meanwhile my host sister's boyfriend decided to stay the week instead of just the weekend, which is nice for them.

Also, I had the longest Skype conversation with my parents on Sunday - nearly two hours with one minor interruption. Usually they are shorter and are interrupted an average of three or four times because of the bad WiFi connection I have in my room. It was really nice - we talked about our trip to Greece, the upcoming summer, college stuff, Grandma Carol, and their awesome work in the gym. ;)

As far as I know, I have sent everything in for the college applications that was still missing...so now I get to be tortured by the awful wait. Oh well. I just hope it turns out well considering I've worked my entire life for this moment.

I also thought about how surreal my return home will be. Here's what I picture in my mind (and I already know it's exactly what will happen):
I fly home to Washington. I drive 6 hours in the car to good ol' Greensboro, NC with my parents (and yes, I will be driving part of the time), I enter my house and drop my bags at the front door which irritates my mom but it's force of habit and my suitcases will be heavy, I take off my shoes and socks, walk upstairs, and flop (yes, flop) onto my [new] bed. I will start thinking. About life, what got me to that point, and my year living away from my family on a different continent. Surreal. It will feel like a very long dream. I will be home in a place that has not changed since I left. But I will have changed. This year has changed me so much. It will continue to change me these last 3.5 months I am still here. But I will be home where everything has stayed the same, moving forward a year without me. It's not like moving to a new place and never going back. I will be dropping myself into the world I knew as a completely new person. The last year will seem like a daydream, a hallucination maybe. And the only evidence I will have that it actually happened is myself through my memories, my personality, my knowledge. No one else can tell me what is real. Only I can. A man named Bertrand Russell once wrote, "So far as things are concerned, we may know them or not know them, but there is no positive state of mind which can be described as erroneous knowledge of things, so long, at any rate, as we confine ourselves to knowledge by acquaintance. Whatever we are acquainted with must be something; we may draw wrong inferences from our acquaintance, but the acquaintance itself cannot be deceptive." He also talked about knowledge of truths, but this was a different truth that what I'm talking about. I believe that my memories are "things" because I can only know them by acquaintance. No one else can tell me that they do or do not exist, because they have not nor will ever experience what I have. Thus, this adventure will seem like a dream.

Thank you, Freebird, for being an outstanding philosophy teacher - your lessons in school and in life will always stay with me.

Don't You Rain On My Parade

Divergent is such a good book. I'm nearly finished with it. I really do love dystopia-related books, I've realized. We were talking about dystopian and utopian books and stories in my English class because they had that topic last year and it'll be on their Klausur (test like a benchmark or mid-term) next week. Most of them said they don't like those kinds of books after having read 1984 last year. Meanwhile I think aside from historical fiction involving a woman as a main character (not that specific considering I like it from almost all time periods - I think that love began with the American Girl books and grew into more sophisticated reading), dystopian books are probably one of my favorite genres. The first dystopian book I ever read was The Giver in fifth grade, followed by books like The City of Ember and its sequel, The Hunger Games, and a bunch more (even in German). So naturally, Divergent followed to be one of my loves and I am so excited for the movie!
We also read a short story by Ray Bradbury. 3 of us (Pauline, Alina and I) thought it was good but the rest didn't like it. Oh well. It reminded me of the Twilight Zone, which is always cool in my opinion.

Yesterday the girls and I made ricotta crêpes from DJ Foodie's website. They were really good but took a long time to cook and somehow we managed to not make as many as we thought would turn out, even when we doubled the recipe. We made 10 crêpes. It was still really fun though. We also watched Youtube videos and Germany's Next Top Model. Around 10 pm I rode home. It was pouring rain, direction: at my face. So basically I was lucky I could still see the street through the rain and mascara in my eyes. By the time I arrived one of my eyes was hurting so bad from the water/mascara mix in it that I had had to keep it shut and ride with one eye open...very slowly, mind you. Luckily my coat kept the rest of me dry, and my jeans were only partially soaked. But I cleaned myself up, put on nice, warm PJs and hopped into bed...where I ended my night by watching more Youtube and reading Divergent.

In other news, my host sister's LDBF (long-distance boyfriend) is coming for the weekend so she's picking him up at some point this evening.
Also, considering the fact that I haven't eaten anything today because my stomach wasn't doing too well, I should probably go make myself some food.

Talk to you later!
Emily

You got me trippin', stumblin', flippin', oh fumblin'....

Today was a day of clumsiness: I stepped on a nail (why it was on my carpet I have no idea), tripped up the stairs, hit my bike on a curb and basically tripped into my bike. I don't know why but today something was just out to get me.

Meanwhile I filmed the same video twice today. The first time the sun wasn't out and then the sun came out so I re-did it and then I wasn't happy with it because I was talking way too fast. Awesome. So I'll do that again tomorrow or something...

Today I only had two hours (1.5 hours technically) because History fell out. So I went to school for English...I feel like that's just counterproductive but I was happy when I found out it was my only class of the day. Who wouldn't be happy?

Other than that, I have nothing to report. It was a pretty average day.

Becoming a Foodie by Nature

So for anyone who has been wondering why I've been liking Low-Carb/Sugar-Free/whatever on Facebook (and my fellow CIEEers who saw me suffer in Bonn), here's my story.

For a while I was feeling pretty bad. I don't normally eat junk food but I was feeling just as cruddy as if I was: upset stomach, migraines, fatigue and all that good stuff. I ended up going to the doctor because I didn't know why I was feeling so down when I was eating healthy meals and all. After going through my daily routine, he said he suspected it might be carbohydrate intolerance. So I had to go through two weeks of absolutely no carbs whatsoever, which was pretty miserable because it was very hard finding food but I was feeling better. I resorted to salads, eggs, and nuts and meat when it was available (not the processed lunchmeats). After the two weeks I went back to the doctor to report. It was pretty clear I had CI, meaning things like potatoes and beans which have a lot of carbs basically can't process well in my body. To go even further in-depth, he wanted to test allergies to make sure there wasn't any extra allergies that were causing me to throw up (sorry for the visuals guys). It ended up with me testing positive to wheat and gluten allergies but luckily not dairy. So that meant that rather than just making me not feel good, my body was resisting those completely, which is why I threw all of that back up whenever I ate it.

Anyway, spinning that into a good thing. I've been doing a lot of research on food substitutes, low-carb meals, wheat and gluten free recipes and so on. So to answer questions, no I am not on a diet trying to lose weight. I don't need to lose any more weight than I already have this year. Yes, I did lose a few pound in those two weeks completely without carbs but that was not the goal. The goal was for me to stop having health issues and I've finally figured out why I was having problems and I am not correcting it with a healthy lifestyle. While my diet is now pretty restricted on some levels, I am determined to make the best of it and find yummy recipes that will do my body good.

Benefits: staying healthy and being pretty guaranteed to stay in shape, being forced to stay away from junk food (a good thing), most meals have ingredients that can be substituted, and learning to cook meals for myself.
Cons: it can be hard not eating everything everyone else is eating, sometimes restaurants aren't very accomodating, I'll have to read labels very carefully........
But it's completely worth it and not really an option anymore.

So that is my story and full explanation to answer any questions.

And yes I will be baking with friends on Thursday. They were very respectful and let me choose a recipe so I can eat it as well. We will be making ricotta crepes from djfoodie.com and I'm pretty darn excited.

Blurbs and Books

Yesterday I got all the school reports sent out to my eight colleges...for tiny little letters it cost 12 euros...that's kind of insane BUT I figured it's definitely worth investing in my college future. That's really my number one priority so I am willing to do anything for it.

I also watched The Blind Side in German with my host family...and ended up having to explain why it was such a big deal that the tutor told the family she was a democrat (is that supposed to be capitalized? I'm losing my English). Also, it was weird without the southern accents.

I started reading the book Divergent...my friend got it in English and so she's letting me borrow it. Let's be honest - books are best when in the original language. My friends think so, too, which is why she got it in English and several have read Harry Potter (the holy grail of all books btw) in English. I would love to read The Unbearable Lightness of Being (11th grade reading material I actually really enjoyed) in Czech but that is one language I cannot speak (yet). Anyways...back to Divergent. It's a good book (LUKAS and MOM - you NEED to read it) and reminds me a bit of The Hunger Games trilogy, The Giver, and those German Die Windsänger books we have at home...that I just realized I never actually finished (I was too young). Basically a semi-sci-fi, dystopia-type book...also a really easy read. I started it on Thursday and before I knew it (it felt like 5 minutes but was probably a bit longer) I was already at page 45.

I highly recommend it.

In other news, my host sister's spray detangler basically exploded and leaked all over the bathroom. Product defects are often interesting. She also left for a interview/seminar in Bonn (sound familiar?) for a voluntary year in a third-world country. She'll be back tomorrow. My other host sister Anne, Iris, and I went to Holland this morning to go shopping and look for a bathing suit for Anne. I didn't buy anything (go me!) but there are some really nice stores there.

Plans are iffy for the rest of the day. (I love the word iffy but can never use it so yay!) I've been watching Meghan Rienks's Youtube videos and obsessing over Mish and Dom's perfect relationship and their beautiful faces. I'll start editing one of the other LK videos later.

Also I know you guys don't care but my hair has been acting really weird. IDK what it is, but it's basically resisting my shampoo and either being really dry after I take a shower or being super greasy even, like, the next morning. It's grossly stringy and flat and should NOT be because I washed it last night. I'm probably just going to need to get a different shampoo because apparently this one is not happening for me...*sigh* at least it was almost empty anyway and maybe I can finish it later on.

Oh, and today is really windy. Not like a normal "bad windy" but like in an extreme "hurricane windy" way. So that's no fun.

And yesterday was warm enough for me to have to teach myself how to take off gloves while riding a bike. I was successful and a lot cooler afterward. It was warm enough for me to take off my scarf, but I'd have to stop for that one because I'm not pulling a scarf over my eyes for even a split second while riding a bike...and I didn't feel like stopping. Hence the glove lesson.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!

So I didn't celebrate with a guy, flowers and chocolates....that just doesn't happen for me (well it did last year but that was an anomaly). Instead I went to school, with a three hour break inbetween...and afterward I filmed the LK video for our history class. It was cool because I got to work the camera, direct the scenes (little Emily is turning into a producer/director/cameraperson/editor) and I'll be editing the video, along with 7 others. I have two for over the weekend that I can edit. I love my new thing for cinematography. It's a really amazing hobby and I can't believe I didn't do it for so long.

So that was my Valentine today. I've found my second love aside from gymnastics.

Since this is a day of love, I also want to give a shoutout to my family and friends. Recent events made me realize how important that is and how suddenly it can disappear. So we should love and appreciate our friends and family every second of every day while we still have them. <3

Emily

Passing of a friend

I'm sad to say I'm writing once again about death.

When I first moved to America, we started attending Trinity Covenant Church. There I was welcomed into open arms by the youth at the church, which was headed by the most amazing youth pastor and most generous and loving man. His name was David Bowden. He was a very tall man and we nicknamed him "Tree." He has a wife and two daughters, who are a couple years younger than I am. I remember him always smiling and happy. He found joy in every part in his life, through his work and through his ministry serving God. Everyone loved him and loved being around him. He willingly made fun of himself and acted crazy in front of everyone to make them smile. He headed up our church musicals and VBS and youth group. I remember him dying his hair blonde at the end of VBS because we had raised enough money for the Upward Basketball program. I remember him picking me up and throwing me into the 12ft deep pool in Myrtle Beach the summer before sixth grade. There were tons of memories and every one of them makes me smile whenever I think about them. Although we switched churches halfway through seventh grade, the three years with him were pretty amazing, and I think anyone who knew him would agree with that.

I found out about Tree's passing today through a text from my dad. I immediately started writing. I can't believe he's gone. It seems like just yesterday I was going to youth group singing songs with everyone while he played the guitar. The last time I saw him was at a Mexican restaurant two years ago, although I hadn't realized it had been that long. I'm sad about his passing. Really sad in fact. He left a great mark on my childhood and I will always be thankful for that. But mostly I feel sad for those who really knew him: his family. His daughters and his wife have suffered such a huge loss and I can't even begin to imagine their pain. I pray for them and wish them all the best and hope that they can find comfort and happiness in his loving memories at this time and in the future. He was very young. Too young to die. But he's in heaven with God and we all know he is safe and happy there. Although it hurts right now, we will see him again someday. We will never know why, but I believe that it was God's plan to take him and there must be a reason for that.

David Bowden is loved and missed by all. While his body may be gone, his spirit will forever live in the lives he has touched through his ministry to God, to the church, and to the youth. He was and always will be a loyal servant, great father, friend to all, and amazing man.

A tribute to America's Sweetheart

Just learned about Shirley Temple Black's passing yesterday...
She was my favorite actress growing up and I watched basically all of her movies. I remember she would always just bring me joy.
She touched a lot of hearts, both young and old, and will go down in history as being America's Sweetheart.
After her acting career she became very involved in the community through political and social activism. She even survived cancer. She has received numerous awards and honors throughout her life and contributed a great deal to society.
Shirley will always be held dear to us and America will miss her.

R.I.P. 

Shirley Temple Black

April 23, 1928-February 10, 2014

Let's talk about the weather

Yesterday I went to Münster. It was lovely. We went to the Picasso museum, where they also had a Matisse exhibit. After that we went shopping. Mind you, I haven't bought an article of clothing since London and that was in early September. I ended up coming away with two tops I can wear now and in the spring and summer, and a rose gold colored necklace!
Also, my parents told me it was snowing in Greensboro again...we've had no snow here in Vreden. Legit none. And I checked weather.com. Today's forecast for Greensboro is a high of 38 degrees. It's already 4 degrees warmer at 9:23AM and should get to a high of 46 degrees. We also live way farther up north than our counterparts in Greensboro, so I ask Mother Nature, "Why?"
Anyways...if it's gonna be too warm for snow, can it at least really warm up? I really want spring.